Here you can find answers to Frequently Asked Questions about the Artificial Duck Co. Store. If a question you have isn't answered here, please don't hesitate to send us an email by clicking here!
When does in-stock merchandise ship?
We ship orders on Tuesdays and Fridays. If your order arrives Friday-Monday, it will ship Tuesday. If your order arrives Tuesday-Thursday, it will ship Friday. Sometimes Dave is traveling and your order will be delayed for a bit, but he always announces that on the order pages, so you'll be told if that's going to happen.
Is shopping at the Artificial Duck Co. Store safe?
We use Yahoo! Shopping to power our store, which is one of the largest online merchants on the internet. We selected them because they have an excellent customer satisfaction rating, and seemed the safest and most secure solution for our customers. Furthermore, we will NEVER* release or sell your name, address, email, or any other information you provide. We value privacy, and do everything we can to make sure our customers are given the same confidentiality that we'd want for ourselves. *Well, if a government appointed court order were served on our doorstep, we'd be forced to comply if we found it to be valid... sorry, but we're not going to jail for T-shirts and buttons!
Do I have to pay with credit card? Can I use PayPal or send you a check or money order?
You may absolutely make payment via check or money order (in US funds) just email us with what you want to order, and we'll send you a total due plus an address to send payment. We do not accept PayPal (the why is here).
Why do you bill me for a pre-order? Can you wait until my pre-order items arrive and are shipped?
We would prefer to bill no order before it ships... however, Yahoo! deletes all billing information after a week or two as a security precaution, so we have no choice but to bill for pre-orders as we receive them. But no worries... if Dave dies (or whatever) before your order ships, we have people who can either process your order without him or contact you for a refund.
Why do T-shirts change color from "classic" to "ladies" to "big" on some designs?
Unfortunately, not all shirt colors are available in all styles. The big sizes, in particular, are difficult because colors just aren't available once you pass 2X (sometimes you can get 3X, but you have to order huge quantities). We do the best we can to pick the best color available for each style of shirt we're printing on.
Do you offer T-shirts larger than 5X?
Not at this time. Hanes makes a 6X, but we've had a really difficult time getting them through our distributor.
Why do you print on Hanes shirts? Don't you believe in fair trade?
After getting some complaints about Hanes using child labor and other horrifying problems, we switched to American Apparel for our shirts. Unfortunately they are made with thinner fabric, run smaller in the sizing, and the quality doesn't seem to be as good. So now we're back with Hanes again (whom we're told are making changes in their fair trade policies for the better). If we can ever find a different company with quality and pricing equatable to Hanes, but with better fair trade policies, we'll see if we can switch again.
How are shipping rates calculated?
Each item in the Artificial Duck Co. Store has a weight assigned to it. When you check out, the weights are added up and the shipping cost is pulled from a rate table. This is not a perfect process, but we work very hard to try and make sure that the shipping charges you are billed are what we are paying... most of the time it's pretty darn close. We do not mark up shipping costs or add any handling fees to your order. Click here to see the shipping rate tables (you can have the shopping cart calculate the charges automatically as often as you wish before checkout).
Why/How do you sell stuff so cheap?
From Dave: "Here's the secret... I don't sell this stuff to make money! I sell it because my readers love to have it, and I love my readers. The prices are inexpensive because I get the highest quality merchandise I can find and sell it as close to actual cost as I am able. I would rather a thousand people be able to afford a T-shirt and make no profit, than I would having only ten people being able to afford a T-shirt and make a profit."
